Archive for April, 2009

Club Tropicana

29Apr09

Because I’m not working I can think about taking a holiday on the spur of the moment. I’ve never had time to look at lastminute.com before. The website allows you to search a selection of destinations. There are many good offers available. I suppose it must be the recession. I found seven nights full board […]


Pretty baby

27Apr09

In Japan some scientists have built a robot which looks and acts like a toddler. A four foot high grey one. Why? Surely the world has enough self-centred, bawling, demanding, malcoordinated beings already (including toddlers)? If the processing power is limited, why don’t they just build a dog or a cat or an iguana? There […]


Worldly

26Apr09

I try to avoid reading political blogs. They either dismay me or anger me. Very occasionally they make me laugh… as today when I stumbled across the words of a Green party spokesman, who states in all seriousness in a comment on his own blog: “I am also given hope by the increasingly global nature […]


“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said to the lady kneeling at my feet. She looked up at me. “I’ve never done this before… I didn’t realise it would be so slippery.” The Optician said nothing and continued to search the carpet for the missing contact lens. “At least they are disposable,” I said. “Yes,” she sighed, […]


Roadspeakers

19Apr09

On a long and dull motorway journey you can alarm slumbering passengers by steering gently on to the rumble strip at the side of the road. The sudden bass note will cause your fellow travellers to think that you have dozed off and are about to plough into the buttress of a bridge. In Japan […]


Jolly Roger

15Apr09

I’ve just solved two intractable international crises in one go… Why don’t all the seafaring nations club together to pay the French fishermen to blockade the ports of Somalia? Result: happy fishermen and pirates who have to give up their criminal ways and earn an honest living by…er… fishing.


Beaming

14Apr09

With bloodstained fingers, I turned the pages in the car handbook. It is normally no longer possible to replace a bulb without first removing other vehicle parts. This applies to bulbs in particular as they can only be accessed from the engine compartment. Special skills are required to carry out this work. We recommend, therefore, […]