Keeping an eye open


“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said to the lady kneeling at my feet. She looked up at me. “I’ve never done this before… I didn’t realise it would be so slippery.”

The Optician said nothing and continued to search the carpet for the missing contact lens.

“At least they are disposable,” I said.

“Yes,” she sighed, getting to her feet empty-handed. “But most people wear them for a few hours before discarding them.”

Once more she mimed how I should hold my eyelid open whilst jabbing myself in the eye with an index finger.

Contact lens technology has moved on since I last tried this. It was quite a few years ago when I last dropped a hard plastic lens out of my eye into the baby’s bath. I never saw it again, although I was sure that the baby had swallowed it (she liked to drink her bathwater from a tea cup – in retrospect giving her a tea set to play with in the bath was asking for trouble) and I looked carefully in her nappies for several days.

The baby is now nearly twelve years old. I thought it was time to give the vision correction industry another chance.

8 Responses to “Keeping an eye open”

  1. 1 Sally

    Alex, once you get the hang of contact lenses you will wonder what all the fuss was about. Hope you are getting round to doing all those jobs you never got round to. Glad to see you are continuing with your blog on the outside I will continue to read with interest.

  2. 2 Doodle

    Go for laser eye treatment instead. Really, it is not an exagerration to say it changed my life. I couldn’t read the top letter of an eye chart with one eye, and wasn’t much better with the other eye.

    I had the laser treatment at 4:30pm one day and at 9am the next day when I returned for my check up I could read the bottom level with both eyes. It’s now 9 years later and I still have perfect vision.

    *steps down from soapbox*

  3. 3 Ben Rickards

    HI Alex, good to see the change has freed your mind to work on the important things in life. I only just heard you left. Good luck with whatever’s coming next.

    BY the way I love the idea. Let’s buy a couple of beat up Citroen Saxo’s and start a band….

  4. 4 Ben Davis

    If there were still nappies involved, I’d be worried!

  5. 5 RobH

    Found you!! Just realised rather belatedly that you’ve left the safe harbour (uhum) of Aviva to sail the high.. (ok ok enough)… here’s wishing you well – shows how disconnected one gets on secondment! I knew that you were leaving but wasnt sure when – enjoy the summer before you start again, get a project to keep you going and keep blogging! Ive always enjoyed them…

  6. 6 Doodle

    Just out of curiosity…

    If you had found the contact lens in the nappy.

    What then??

  7. 7 alexoutside

    Doodle – You’ve heard the expression “looking at the world through rose coloured spectacles”… I’d have invented an alternative expression for pessimists.

  8. 8 Darren Cornish

    I agree with Doodle. Laser correction is just the best couple of grand I have ever spent. The only downside was the lift home from the surgey where, with my eyes all gunked up, my dad took great pleasure making comments like, ‘wow, thats not something you see everyday, 6 stunning women riding motorbikes naked’ etc. Nasty sense of humour. The next morning, with my pristine 20/20 I went out looking for them but they seemed to have left town.

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