Pretty baby


In Japan some scientists have built a robot which looks and acts like a toddler. A four foot high grey one.


Surely the world has enough self-centred, bawling, demanding, malcoordinated beings already (including toddlers)? If the processing power is limited, why don’t they just build a dog or a cat or an iguana? There might even be a commercial opportunity for a reasonably realistic motorised domestic animal. You could take it for a walk without coming home every time carrying a warm turd in a small plastic bag.

The designers and engineers at Osaka University say that they are already planning a robot which behaves like a three-year-old.

I can see where this is leading… The robot teenager is just a few years away. Fortunately at that point development will slow down when the prototype will storm out saying “I hate you” and slam the door. The robot will spend the next four to five years in its room listening to loud music and neglecting personal hygiene.

During this time the frustrated engineers will turn their attention to more lucrative sidelines, such as weapons of mass destruction and automated banking technology.

When the robot emerges as a young adult it will find itself master of a post-apocalyptic wasteland… and wishing it had been a dog.

3 Responses to “Pretty baby”

  1. 1 Amanda

    I like this Alex! Heavens knows what
    features an automated husband would have…..

  2. 2 Graham

    What features would you want? and would you want him automated or have voice command control?

  3. 3 alexoutside

    An ‘off’ button?

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