Archive for March, 2012

Floored logic


The other day I was standing in a tube train looking at the floor (as you do, in order to avoid eye contact) when it occurred to me that the floor covering would be ideal for a kitchen. This is probably because I am middle-aged. The flooring in a tube train has many admirable qualities: […]



Mrs R. innocently asked me to answer some questions to help her on a training course. I naively agreed. This evening she gave me a sheet of paper which read: Write down: 1. Two things you like best about me. 2. Two things you would like to see more of in my behaviour. 3. Two […]

Getting ahead


On two separate occasions last week I saw individuals wearing top hats as part of their outfit. They were young people, one male and one female. They did not appear to be wearing their hats ironically. A week earlier I saw someone in a bowler hat, looking more Clockwork Orange than city gent. Are we […]

I was not expecting to meet Feargal Sharkey, former lead singer of The Undertones, at the mediaeval gate to Norwich Cathedral Close last night, but he was there and he held open the wicket gate for me as we exited into the night. We shook hands, exchanged a few words about the excellent band we […]

Congratulations to Perth, Scotland on becoming a city. It is a nice place and home to some great people 🙂  I hope that they don’t suddenly start building trophy skyscrapers and bidding for Olympics. [I had to say ‘Perth, Scotland’ to avoid confusing readers in Perth, Australia who already think that they live in a […]

Sev one


A teenager travelled to London for another university interview. He is interested in computers and business, so he was fascinated to listen to the phone conversation from a nearby seat. It was all about a ‘sev 1’ system problem that needed urgent resolution because it was affecting several banks. A ‘severity 1’ problem is shorthand […]

Field marshal


When I was preparing for my weekend trip to Sheffield I did not think to pack any sunscreen. I was too busy remembering to pack a walking stick. After three and half hours in the car I needed the stick to stand upright because my aching back was seat-shaped. After three and half hours on […]

Last time I wrote about the aurora borealis it was because I missed it. And so did most readers it appeared. This time I’m ahead of the game. There is a good chance of seeing the aurora in the UK tonight apparently – if you have a clear sky and a clear view. Do let […]

Having concluded that I would be a hazard to myself and others on the train, I stayed at home and went to the doctor instead. He prescribed some pills to ease the spasm in my back which would eventually relax enough to allow me to stand upright. Before prescribing he was careful to check that […]

Back again


Lying uncomfortably on my belly I consider the carpet closely. If I raise my head I can just about read the screen of my iPad on the floor in front of me, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t get my upper body on to my elbows so I can type on my […]

Oven cleaner can be corrosive. It is wise to take precautions when using the strong chemicals. Especially when the pack of oven cleaner is so old that it does not carry a ‘use by’ date. I wandered around the house to warn everyone that I had just smeared a dangerous substance all over the oven. […]