Archive for January, 2012

As I was shopping for groceries I noticed that the supermarket was selling ‘set top boxes’. They were reduced, because almost everyone in the developed world has now got digital TV, except luddites and cantankerous misanthropes and it is very unlikely that anyone who shops there would fit into either category. I popped one into […]

Poetic licence


Having passed his test, teenage son received his new driving licence. He pointed out that it expires at a time in the future that is so distant it could be science fiction. I looked at my licence. It expires on a date which seems safely remote, but which, if I count backwards the same number […]

Ivory towers


Last week I visited the head office of a prestigious UK retailer. It is a company with smart, modern stores in most major cities, with a good reputation for value and excellent service. The head office building was scruffy, cramped and busy. The lobby was small, crowded and untidy with shabby furniture. The business has […]

OK, OK… in light of yesterday’s comments from so many knowledgeable people whose judgement I respect, I’m rethinking my door plans. I’ll look for a professional hangman (see Mrs R’s comment – I’ll show her). I know that this will probably disappoint the silent majority who were hoping for another posting telling a sorry tale […]

Door man


“Replacing a door is a project within the capabilities of most do-it-yourselfers…” was exactly what I was hoping to read when I clicked on the Google search result. I wrote “replace back door” on my list of urgent household tasks last week, when I completed my work to adjust the base and edge of the […]

Sky lights


Did you see the Aurora Borealis last night? No, neither did I. There were too many wind turbines obscuring the view I think.

High wind news


I read today that the next generation of ‘super’ wind turbines could be one thousand feet high at their highest arc. The sweep of the blades would be eight hundred feet in diameter – bigger than the London Eye. The monster turbines would be located offshore, which is where the wind is. I imagine that […]

Toast masters


Today I was working in an office which has a funky coffee bar and a kitchen-area with a microwave and a toaster. All offices should be like this. Many useful discussions are held whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, the microwave to ping or the toaster to pop. After a smoke alarm incident, someone […]

Civil oranges


Obviously I would like to write a long and amusing posting about my attempt to make marmalade. And I would like to tell you about the origins of marmalade. But I haven’t got time… because I have been too busy worrying about tax returns… and trying to get my gas supplier to stop trying to […]

G spotter


There is a lot more interest in Comic Sans than I expected. My recent posting on the topic broke all viewing records*. Who would have imagined that more than one person a minute would be searching the internet with an interest in an –ography other than porn? Typography is evidently very popular. I have to […]

Ten days after my start of year predictions I’m pleased to say that my track record is looking good… Yes – people in England are discussing Scottish independence. Yes – I have still not managed to get any tickets for the Olympics. Yes – the high winds in southern England did make the news. Yes […]

I had to go out to a meeting and I was going to be late back, so I left the teenagers a note with instructions on what to eat (to minimise the risk of unrestricted fridge pillage). I printed the note in bright red Comic Sans font because I knew that this would amuse and […]

Today I came across the following story in a discussion about insurance in Australia. On Christmas day my suburb in Melbourne got hit by hail and flooding. Being with [XYZ insurance company] for my car insurance I got an SMS from them 10 minutes before the hail hit, warning me of the impending hail and […]

I lay awake in the dark listening to the wind twisting and shaking the TV aerial on its rickety pole attached to the chimney stack above the bedroom, expecting the whole structure to break and fall on to the car parked below. I decided that today I would decommission the redundant analogue signal receiving equipment. […]

Predictive text


As Nostradamus probably said at the interview for his first apothecary job, “no one ever made a living by making predictions”. Here are my predictions for 2012… My continued failure to obtain any tickets for the Olympics will be partially mitigated by my eventual decision to buy a new TV in order to watch the […]