Caffeine rush


I was overtaken by a speeding van. As it disappeared I could read the large notice on the rear window: “Espresso Machine Engineer On Call”.

Some people can get quite irritable if they don’t get a robust shot of coffee every few hours. The espresso machine engineer must be used to dealing with angry office workers. He probably smells quite pleasant too.

But what is the point of the notice on his van? Would a passing policeman hold up the traffic to allow him to speed past to the next steam pipe leak or boiler descaling? Do traffic wardens approach his vehicle, parked at an important angle across the double yellow lines, and raise a respectful finger to their caps as they see he is on a mission of mercy?

(Actually, I don’t think that traffic wardens exist any more. They have been replaced by robotic parking attendants from the paramilitary wing of the local council.)

Later in the afternoon, when I got home, a washing machine engineer came round (this was pre-arranged, to fix the washing machine – he wasn’t just making a speculative call). While he was working I checked the back of his van. It did not have a special notice. He is missing an opportunity.

4 Responses to “Caffeine rush”

  1. I suppose there is a very different level of patience around waiting a few hours for your next laundry load and waiting a few hours for your next espresso.
    Especially if you’re selling espressos.

  2. 2 eddie woz

    I feel the same way about horse boxes (probably termed equine transportation solutions nowadays). By displaying the word Horses somewhere on the vehicle, what are the drivers expecting the rest of us to do? I suspect with well over 95% of drivers, seeing a horse box crawling along at 33 mph just generates increased levels of frustration and anger. “They have legs don’t they?”. “They are a form of transportation in their own right, aren’t they” etc.etc.

    • Eddie – I’m quite sympathetic to horse boxes. It’s probably quite hard to move a horse safely. Why not just reflect on the fact that if we all still had to travel by horse you would almost certainly be going a lot slower? And the roads would be a lot muckier. 🙂

  3. 4 Kinside

    Perhaps the notice should have said Espresso Machine Engineer on Caffeine? Would have explained the speeding. Or maybe they’d stopped at one of those roadside stalls in Denmark…

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