Not present

09Nov10

With the newspaper came 32 glossy pages titled Christmas Gift Collection 2010 from The Original Gift Company.

I love these catalogues. So many things that I never thought I would need. I flicked through, hoping to find a page to leave open for Mrs R to find.

The “Smart Leather Magic Wallet” was momentarily exciting, until I read that it did not actually automatically re-fill with money. “Change your mood, change your watch” could be good, my watch generally makes me depressed because it shows time passing.  I was quite taken with “The complete desk set with a magnetic pen” until I couldn’t think of a use for a magnetic pen unless you write messages on a sheet of paper covered in a layer of iron filings. A “Personalised stainless steel BBQ set” in a “smart aluminium case” would suit me if I was the sort of person to make guest appearances at barbecues, but I’m not.

“Bring your garden to life with this fun family of meerkats” would liven up the vegetable patch and their “polyresin” construction would make them frost-hardy. Perhaps the meerkats could be bundled with the “Squirrel nut cracker” which would certainly be a good way to keep the squirrels away from the bird-feeder.

There were several variants on a blanket – “Cuddlee – the wraparound sofa blanket with sleeves” (yes, really), “Fleece pocket wrap – ideal to wear alone when you’re just nipping out” (I like the idea of hurrying down to the post box wearing nothing but a lilac fleece poncho),  “Luxury towelling bath robe” (there is always a monogrammed bath robe), “Reversible cape and corsage” (another fleece poncho) and “All wrapped up” (you’ve guessed it… another “chic polar fleece cape” or poncho).

But in the end I’ve chosen to “Recharge And Store All Your Gadgets In One Smart Valet – Complete With Power Strip” – just £49.95

Uh?

 



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