See food again


Mrs R told me it was a mistake to eat crab when I was more than 10 miles from Cromer. But I did and that is why I spent last night in a London hotel bathroom driving the porcelain bus.

I knew that the hotel room was ill-starred when I arrived. It was stiflingly hot and when I switched on the antique air conditioning unit it smelt strongly of legionella. That is what you get when you only stay in London hotels which cost less than the train fare back to Norwich.

Of course it might not have been the crab. I had some beef too, which could have come from the offspring of a clone. Or it could have been a cloned crab. I didn’t pay much attention to the provenance of my meal.

I’ll know better next time.

2 Responses to “See food again”

  1. Sorry to hear of your unfortunate experience.
    I now make sure that when I come to London I bring my own food down from Yorkshire – usually apples from New Zealand.
    In keeping with Mrs R’s sensible 10 mile rule I only consume London Pride when in town.

  2. I’m so sorry you suffered as a result of the non-Cromer crab. Might I suggest sticking to the small and unsatisfying ubs of Pringles, priced at £7.80, which grace the mini bars of all hotels as surely as Gideon’s Bible graces the bedside table?

    Hope all is well now!

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