Media darling


The media frenzy surrounding political manoeuvres has become irritating. The Sky News high definition TV camera helicopter was hovering above the office all afternoon. It was noisy. On the TV in reception I could see the pictures from the helicopter. They were mostly of the roof of a building nearby and a car park where nothing much was happening.

Nothing much happening is a problem for 24 hour rolling news channels. They have to fill the gaps between high definition pictures of nothing with short interviews. A reporter will ask someone you don’t recognise some meaningless questions and receive banal answers. From time to time there is an embarrassing pause when no one even has anything trivial to say.

“What has brought you here this evening?” asked the reporter, thrusting her microphone forward.

“History is being made here and I wanted to see it,” I replied, vacuously.

“How long are you prepared to wait?” She continued.

I looked around the jostling crowd in Whitehall, which blocked my route home.

“About ten minutes.”

“What are you hoping for?” She persisted. It felt like Newsnight.

There was an embarrassing pause. I pulled a statesmanlike face.

“I am hoping for a strong and stable government… I’m not too fussed about the colour.”

Somewhere yet another person sighed and switched stations.

4 Responses to “Media darling”

  1. 1 Andy, Aviva, Perth

    You’ve gone very quiet Alex. Did you get a job with Dave and Nick afterall?

  2. Still waiting for the phone to ring, Andy. Still waiting.

  3. 3 Camilla

    Knowing that your alter ego is Phil Hammond I was impressed to discover that you are now Transport Secretary. However I became unimpressed again on discovering that this is Philip Hammond who is an Epping-born Tory MP, and not at all the same as the entertaining Dr Phil Hammond.

    OMG – further update – Phil Hammond (aka Alex R) is a politican too. Wikipedia says: “Whilst a junior doctor Hammond contested the 1992 general election under the title ‘Struck Off and Die Doctor’s Alliance’. He ran in the Bristol West constituency against William Waldegrave, the then Secretary of State for Health, capturing 87 votes”.

    • If all my loyal supporters turned out I’d get more than 87 votes obv. But not if it was in Bristol West.

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