Salad days


When I’m working from home in my pyjamas it’s a short commute to join Mrs R for lunch at the kitchen table.

She reads the newspaper and I read the plastic bag containing a mixed leaf salad (reading at the table is allowed at lunchtime because the children are at school and won’t be offended by our lack of interest).

“It says here that the salad contains ‘wild rocket’,” says Mrs R, reading over my shoulder because the salad is more interesting than national news. “How wild is it exactly, do you think?”

“I can picture rosy-cheeked women in orange and white checked aprons gathering armfuls of wild rocket from the hedgerows,” I muse, transported to a scene of bucolic bliss. “Preparing our salad with nature’s bounty in the traditional way… but in midwinter.”

“And filling thousands of plastic bags with leaves freshly washed for our convenience,” adds Mrs R.

“Washed in Spring Water, it says here,” I continue. “What exactly is Spring Water? Is it any water that comes out of the ground? Perhaps distributed through a tap? Or industrial strength hose?”

We sit in silent contemplation for a moment. Rejoicing in the abundance of natural goodness conveyed in our little bag of Wild Rocket gathered from the hedgerows by cheerful peasants in orange aprons, and fleeces, and washed carefully under the delicate trickle of a limpid stream flowing cool and fresh from the foot of a chalk down.

I notice that the salad passed its ‘sell by’ date two days ago.

6 Responses to “Salad days”

  1. 1 ben

    OK so how wild is Wild Rocket. According to Jekka it’s still wild even when it’s cultivated. And as a salad herb it’s distinguishable from its countrpart Salad Rocket by a much stronger, which, of course, is why they put it in, err, salad?

    Oh, and apparently it’s gathered by Romans, not check aproned women. Or perhaps Romans wore check aprons….

  2. 3 Ann

    You mean it comes all the way from Rome? Think of the food miles!

  3. 4 Roy

    Wild! I would say it was livid! Sitting there comfortably in the hedgerow when a rosy-cheeked woman in an orange and white checked apron comes along, wrenches it from its home and assigns it to a date-stamped plastic bag.

  4. 5 tank squid

    wild rocket? eurgh you’re so middle class. whats wrong with sainsy b’s own brand lettuce? nomnom

  5. 6 tank squid

    and when i say ‘own brand’ i obviously mean ‘basics’

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