Present tense


It’s too early to panic. I went to a large London department store at lunchtime yesterday to buy an iron. The shop was packed with lots of people queuing to pay for a couple of Christmas cards or a calendar. Thousands more were shuffling round the aisles with a hunted look in their eyes. They were probably shoplifting for religious reasons.

The homeware department was strangely quiet. But it only seemed to sell entire kitchens. Not small electrical goods. I rejoined the shoving hordes and made my way to the exit in a grumpy conga-line to the tune of “It’ll be lonely this Christmas”.

I wonder if Amazon’s super-duper-next-day-premium-instant-wallet-busting service will deliver in time for Christmas?

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