I arrive at my destination. It is a country with strict controls about the import of organic material and foodstuffs. I have to fill in a form which asks whether I have been near fresh water in the last 6 days. And whether I have been on a farm. And whether I have any mud on my shoes.

Then I join the queue to be admitted. Eventually at the head of the queue there is a Sorting Hat sort of process. You are assigned to a sub-queue. I am hoping for Gryffindor, but the sub-queues are labelled ‘X-ray 1’, ‘X-ray 2’ etc… And mysteriously ‘K-9’.

The Sorting Hat looks at me quizzically. Then he directs me decisively to the K-9 queue.

Around the corner behind a screen a young and enthusiastic beagle wags his tail delightedly. He sniffs my suitcase hungrily.

You are not allowed to import biscuits and my shoes are freshly cleaned, so the dog is disappointed. I am admitted into the Queen’s Land.

5 Responses to “Dogging”

  1. ahem…
    Strewth mate!

  2. 2 Fiona

    Guess it’s not a lovely holiday in Dubai then 😦

    Hope you have a great time in Oz and get to see some of it as well as whatever work they expect you to do

  3. 3 Dr R

    I’ll look out for you on the next episode of “Border Security: Australia’s Front Line”.

  4. 4 Sarah

    On our arrival in Perth WA 2 years ago the beagle there was very interested in our backpack. Nothing in it but turned out he could smell that we’d used it to sort lunchboxes during our trip to Legoland 3 days earlier. Amazing things those dogs!!!

  5. 5 Amanda

    The beagle was clearly looking to see if you’d brought any prawns to put on the barbie, mate

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