Lazy pig


When bloggers write about dreams that they have had, I assume that they could not think of anything to write about and that they are making it up or that they are showing off. Whatever. Anyway I think it is lazy.

Last night I dreamt that I was trying to get two wild boars out of the garden. They were quite a handful.

I didn’t need much time to interpret the significance of the dream. Clearly I am (a) spending too much time in the garden, (b) concerned about the moles which seem to be making a counter-attack and (c) remembering the wild boars kept in a field nearby which I sometimes walk past (if they are kept in a field are they ‘wild’ boars strictly speaking?).

Coincidentally, in the newspaper yesterday there was a feature about interpreting dreams. The article was specifically about children’s dreams, but I thought I’d just check what it said about “wild animals on the loose”.

The article reassured me that “lions, tigers, wolves and so on [wild boars?] that roam around unfettered usually signify a specific anxiety provoking situation. It may be fear of a teacher or a bully and this fear takes the form of a wild animal.”

I thought about any recent “specific anxiety provoking situations”. Well, the car failed its MOT test yesterday. But only because it had two bald tyres which I hadn’t spotted because they were worn on the inside edge…

… Hang on. TWO tyres. Two wild boars. Sort of dark coloured and hidden, hard to see…

Dream interpretation is quite easy really. I could become an interpreter of dreams. Online. For money.

I googled ‘interpretation of dreams’. Found Freud’s book. Wasted 45 minutes reading extracts. Then I discovered that lots of people already offer dream interpretation online. Many of them do not ask for any money at all. Perhaps they use the dream interpretation as a loss leader, then make shed loads of money selling associated products like sleeping pills, psychotherapy, Viagra and wild boar traps.

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